I struggle a lot with fear.

I’ve always been a worry wart, but it is an issue that has both intensified and changed as I’ve grown older. I used to worry about things. Now my mind races, my heart pounds, and my whole body tenses as I wonder “What if, what if, what if?” My brain has a talent for envisioning worst-case scenarios and playing them out with striking detail. I’ve battled panic attacks and paralyzing anxiety on and off for years now.

And, you know, part of me wants to rationalize it. I mean, one glance at the news, and it’s not too far out of line to conclude the world is a scary place. There is a LOT to be afraid of. In my mind, I’m just being reasonable. I’m being prepared. I’m being smart.

But I’m also, if I’m being honest, being defeated.

Living with fear and anxiety is exhausting. I feel like I’m always on alert for the next new threat, be it real or imagined. It causes me to look at every person, every situation, suspiciously, assessing. Maybe you’ve heard of rose-colored glasses? Well, mine would be gray. Or maybe even black. That’s how fear colors my world, so much so that I was beginning to think that’s how the world actually looked.

Dark. Scary. Forbidding.

Do you ever feel this way?

I am nowhere close to “cured.” This battle is a life-long one, and I know I will more than likely be fighting it the rest of my days. But God has slowly started revealing the nature of the lies I’ve been believing, showing me glimpses of color within the shades of gray. He has shown me that yes, the world can be a scary place. Yes, bad things happen. Yes, sin and evil are real.

But so is He.

In the midst of all the chaos, all the threats, He is there, peaceful and serene, holding out His hand, offering to hold my own and never let go. And nothing–no fear, no anxiety, no person, no situation–will ever cause Him to let go. No matter what happens, my future is secure so long as I remain with Him. He is good. He is trustworthy. He is in control.

I have begun praying for God to show me what He is doing. To show me His love, His peace. To break through my dark glasses and allow me to see the wonderful things He has placed in my day. Not the scary things, the things that cause me to spiral and fear; the world is always ready to supply plenty of those. But I’ve started asking Him for eyes to see the good, the things that remind me of who He is, and who I am because of it. And, I’m not saying I don’t have hard days–I do–but He is always so gracious to answer me. It might be a flower, a cool breeze, a text from a friend, a series of green lights. Little things. Unimportant things.

That are the most important things.

If you struggle with fear and anxiety like I do, will you join me in a prayer? A prayer for God to break through those dark glasses and reveal Himself to you, to show you all the ways you are safe, loved, and protected?

For God is bigger than any “What if?”

He is I AM.